Saturday, July 4, 2015

We practice drinking on the plane and come home - just in time to blow stuff up.

Happy 4th of July! We made it back to America!

Thank God, we made our flight back from Italy. To arrive at our gate in time, we still had to put on a light jog throughout the terminal. Got there about 15 minutes early. Complained about how bored I was having to wait 15 minutes. Word to the wise: Heathrow is a beast. Wear your running shoes.

Per usual we were served several complimentary meals and snacks (and copious amounts of wine) on both flights (Milan to Heathrow, Heathrow to San Francisco). All of which looked absolutely revolting but continued to taste quite delicious.

Flight #1 consisted of a very light lunch. Some sort of sandwich with bacon, a raspberry roll, coffee, and a tube of milk. My first time utilizing a tube of milk.

Tubes of milk. What will they think of next ?!

You would not guess how delicious this tiny sandwich is from it's grotesque appearance. 

Since it was before noon (barely), Doug decided to take a break from the wine and got a seltzer water with ice and a slice of lemon. He requested a photograph of this refreshing moment be conducted. I think Tanya is just about done with our posed and planned photography sessions at this point, as she refused to turn around and partake in these final shoots.

Doug demonstrating ultimate refreshment and hydration on the plane. Tanya not amused. 


Flight #2 some of these Kettle chips that you can't get in America (we snagged 4 bags at the airport).
 

Meal #1 was peculiar.

Crowded. 

I usually select the vegetarian option for the meals (it just seems safer), and again, my choice paid off spectacularly - the veg choice was vegetable lasagna! (I think... it was listed as lasagne, and I'm not sure if the different spelling is a British thing or if this was just a dish of fake lasagna, like Tofurkey or something). Anyway, vegetable lasagna is really, really fucking exciting if you are an avid Seinfeld fan. 

This vegetable lasagna looked a hot mess but was surprisingly satisfying. 

I can only hope that Lasagne is the same as Lasagna. And that I don't have allergens to any of these things. 

Seinfeld Vegetable Lasagna clip, for the sadly uninformed:


There was also a salmon potato dill salad thing. This airline is bold and brave, serving a cold fish salad to the masses! Again, it was good. May I also point out that I was served my second tube of milk? I choose tea over coffee this time.


Peach Melba. I have not heard of this dessert and was a little mortified when I pulled back the tab. Alas, I tried it anyway (my late Grandmother's name was Melba, after all - and I am a fan of Melba Toast, so how bad could Peach Melba be?). Again, surprisingly tasty and bizarre that a peach cake, whipped cream, and raspberry sauce can be served on a plane.

Peach Melba. Also, my thumb a little greasy from that vegetable lasagna. 

 Cheese and bath ovals, also known as "crackers". I liked that the name of the cheese was Butler's Secret. It's fun imagining a British butler serving me a cheese and cracker dish at my expensive London flat, as opposed to an airline attendant on the 5th hour of a 13 hour flight.

Calling crackers Bath Ovals just seems pretentious. 

On to the (coffee or) tea service! Again, Doug felt it was important to document these special poses of him drinking tea and trying to acknowledge other tea drinkers in our isle (they all pulled a Tanya and ignored him, thank god).

Preparation. 

Cheers, old chap! 

Pip pip! Cheerio! 

Ok, that's enough. We get it. A stiff upper lip. 

Sadly, dinner and tea only took up about 1 hour of this 10 hour leg. We refused the 2nd meal they served later (the food is good but there is zero reason to overindulge on it). After going through about half a season of the latest Game of Thrones (I had to stop... no spoilers but - shocker - there was a hugely disturbing scene in GoT and I needed a mental break) and some movies, we finally landed in SF. Uber to the car at Doug's parents house and then the drive home (luckily it was a holiday weekend, so driving thru SF at rush hour proved to be painless). 

It's nice to be home. Since we left, I got two tomatoes (both of which look really terrible and unappetizing) in our garden, and a huge tree full of amazing peaches. 

Welcomed home by our first two tomatoes of the season - both of which looked awful. 

One branch of our peach tree. Please come over and help yourself. 

Are you planning a trip to Italy? If so, here are my three pieces of advice: 

1. Do whatever Rick Steves says. 

Our Cinqueterre Apartment turned out to be a Rick Steves' Recommendation! No wonder it was so bitchin. 

2. Don't waste all your time in line. 

Get the Roma Pass and Firenze Card. Don't think. Just do. 

3. Hike in the Cinqueterre during your last leg. It's beautiful, blah blah blah, AND, it will help make up for all the pasta, pastries, and vino you will undoubtedly consume.  

14 bottles of Italian wine, 34 cartons of  fresh pasta, and 57 anchovies later, I'm 2.8lbs in the black. Thank you strenuous Cinqueterre hikes for ruining my left achilles, but not my waistline. Also, good God, it is time for a pedicure. 

Arrivederci! 

1 comment:

  1. Agree that the food wasn't bad, but they seemed unusually obsessed with adding raspberry to things. Raspberry frosting on a roll. Open up my peach melba and its covered in raspberry. Luckily they provided a tiny little plastic stick perfect for scraping that crap off. Also the tube of milk came in handy when I gave mine to the man next to me and he gave me his Kit Kat in exchange. Good trade.

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