Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Chicago Fashion

Full disclaimer: I wear 4 inch nude wedges when visiting a farm and a cemetery:

I guess I also "strike a pose" at cemetery's... it must be my unconscious way of letting my ancestors know I'm doing fabulous. (PS -- Love you Uncle Richard). 

So while I'm personally more willing to sacrifice comfort for fashion, I don't normally judge others on their fashion preferences, and I applaud when they take fashion risks.


Because this, my friends, is not normal.

Bean nearly obscured by giant lime green tule dress. 

 Welcome to Undercover Style File, Chicago Edition! Where I sneak pictures of unsuspecting tourists and locals and then try to think of funny things to say about them. With love, of course. It's all about the love. And admiration. Because I truly admire someone who has the balls to pose with this lime green... thing:

You can kind of see above, but there were a ton of tourists watching and talking about this moving spectacle throughout the park. At first I kept my distance, but then realized she'd never be able to chase me down or anything. So I stepped right in for some close-ups.

The date/groom/attendant in white trying to figure out where this mass begins. 

The people holding her dress (her?) look like maybe they would rather be doing something else. That pink blob in the background is a flower girl... or someone holding lime green flowers, whatever that title is. 
Eyes burning. Too much fluorescent. Moving on.

I always enjoy discovering big buttcheeks barely covered by tight jean shorts on prominent display when I'm strolling thru a park.

What do you think happened with the couple in front turned around to stretch their necks?

To come across a matching set was a rare but special event. Again, they were sleeping in their natural habitat so I was able to take a pic easily. In fact, after I did a Japanese tourist got to feeling brave and followed suit.

This woman was on our architecture boat tour, so I had to pretend to take a picture of the building behind her when she turned.

Calico Head
It's kind of hard to see the problem but here's a close up. It was very patchy, and I'm not sure it was supposed to be on purpose.

Purple must be trending right now, because also on the boat tour was this purple sequined fedora. She kept moving from side to side of the boat so it was hard to sneak a picture.

Instead of a distracting and obnoxious "look at me!" purple sequined hat, might I suggest the following as a potential alternative:

You can't get more Chicagoian than a Pizza Beret!

The Intellectual. 

Then there's this. You may as well walk around with a shirt that says "Mug me, I'm a tourist!" (a la "kiss me, I'm Irish!"-style). The pizza box from an (albeit delicious) touristy pizza place, the backpack, camera bag...  he was also talking really loudly with a huge grin and just seemed overall like a fucking asshole.

He did seen pretty happy, so I can only assume he wasn't mugged. Or maybe he was and is now excited to tell all his friends about the time he got mugged in the big city! Whatever man, more power to you and your white pants. I snuck this picture through the luggage rack on the airport shuttle. Actually now that I look at this picture closer I must have missed a golden opportunity to get a better shot of this pink swirly garment in the forefront.

The overall fashion in Chicago was interesting. Lots of locals wear athletic clothing - running attire, but their not running, their walking their dogs and hoping they don't have to poop, since dogs aren't allowed to poop within city limits. There's also a lot of see-through clothing. Not blatantly see-through, just enough so that you know the color of their bra and that their underwear is too tight. I don't have any good pictures, but you can see in this one three locals wearing athletic gear crossing the street on both sides. There also appears to be someone falling down in the corner - ha!

And the final fashion faux paus of the trip is... me. I adapt to my surroundings quite quickly, so I ditched my lovely cotton dresses for stretch pants, sneakers and a stained t-shirt the next day, and Doug adorned an athletic cut Under Armor shirt (just in case someone tried to shoot us on the last day, he was protected).

Oh my god, I forgot that I left my sneakers in the car and so I walked around in sandals during the morning stroll! Hideous. Also, Lincoln in a 3-piece suit and long overcoat in the middle of a hot and humid Midwestern summer ? Poor fashion choice. And no top hat? Inexcusable, regardless of current weather conditions. 

My handsome husband in his protective under armor and "stay away!" face. 

So, what's your worst fashion faux paus of this decade? Do you love stretch pants as much as I do? What's your "stay away!" face look like? Have you ever owned a sequined hat?

1 comment:

  1. Green used to be my favorite color. I'm not sure I can still say that after seeing the green dress. What is the occasion here? It can't be a wedding, right? If it was, the pics were obviously being taken before the ceremony because the groom would be sure to run far far away at the first site of that thing.

    Answers to your questions: I do not know my worst fashion faux paus of the decade because you have not told me. Right now, I am blissfully unaware of it. I do not love stretch pants because too many people wear them publicly when it really would be best for all concerned if they did not. I do not own a sequined hat and if I buy one and wear it please get me some professional help. I can't show ou my stay away face here because commenters can't add photos, which has upset me more than once in relation to your blog.